What Can Managers Do When Their Most Talented People Hold Back?

Long before becoming an entrepreneur, I stood at a career crossroad with two paths to choose from. One would fuel my growth and offer new challenges. I knew I could do the other one in my sleep. Which path would you take? Despite being an A+ overachiever my whole life, I planned to pursue the lateral move, since I believed that I couldn’t tick every box for the growth role. In my mind, I only met 70% of the criteria for the role – so, I’d let someone 100% qualified take it.

When I told my mentor, Tim, I was passing on the growth role, he asked why. As I did, you could hear the shock and confusion in his response, “Any man would say, ‘I’m 30% qualified – so I’ll throw my hat in the ring and close the gap once I’m hired.’ Yet here you are – far more qualified, and opting out?!” That conversation changed how I view readiness. Now I see that it’s rare for a candidate to meet every requirement for a bigger role. If they did, it wouldn’t be a step up, since you aren’t learning anything new – it’s more of a lateral move with a new title. 

But I disagreed with his comment about the gender divide, so I asked my bright, successful female colleagues what they would do in the same situation. Shockingly, every one of them also said they would not take a job if they didn’t feel totally qualified. Yet all of my male friends said just the opposite. Those conversations helped me see that talented women often hold back because of our many fears around what other people might think – what if we don’t execute perfectly? What if they say ‘who does she think she is?’

When strong performers or high potentials play smaller than they could, managers often attribute it to a lack of ambition, confidence, or conflicting priorities. Those assumptions can prevent leaders from inquiring about what is holding their talent back. The result? Stretch roles and promotions go to the hand-raisers, organisations lose future leaders and ideas, and those who don’t ‘go for it’ lose the chance to grow. To prevent your most talented people from holding back, create an environment that will stop fear from making your employees’ decisions:

Dig Beneath the Surface
Do you have smart employees who always overprepare, stay silent in team meetings, or wait to be invited to share their ideas? It’s your job as a leader to understand what’s driving these limiting behaviours. In our research, we found that the top reason professionals didn’t raise their hand for a job they wanted is that they were uncomfortable advocating for themselves. Women were less likely than men to take career-advancing risks, seek promotions, advocate for themselves and share their most creative ideas.

If you regularly have career conversations with your employees, you’ll learn what they envision for their future, and can help them map out a path to get there. If the dream seems too small, probe further. If their goals feel out of reach, ask why. Don’t worry about seeming intrusive or annoying stop you. Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, tend to be better liked. Curiosity shows you’re listening… and you care. Peeling away the layers of the onion will help you understand what’s underneath their initial hesitation, and you’ll help them identify the root cause and solutions.  

Establish the 80% Rule
Perfectionism is rampant in today’s workplace – especially when it comes to sharing a creative idea or trying something new. When employees hold back, they miss out on the moment to influence a decision or innovate. To empower your team to take smart, calculated risks, enact the 80% Rule. Instruct them to make their move when an idea, recommendation or application is only 80% of the way there. Don’t wait until they deem it perfect or worthy of an A+. Require that they share it and invite feedback and ideas from colleagues to close the gap. 

Arm them with language for speaking up before they’re fully ready. Model phrases like, “While this idea is not fully baked yet, I’m sharing it early, so we can hear different perspectives and make it stronger together.” You’ll cultivate a collaborative culture, and your team will know that every contribution doesn’t need to arrive perfectly packaged. But you must remember to honour the rule. Don’t ask for early thinking and then shame or punish people for sharing a ‘rough draft.’ Employees will revert to privately polishing everything to perfection, which will stifle innovation for your business.

Build a Confidence Catalogue
Self-doubt has a selective memory. We remember the presentation that faltered because that’s our brain’s way of ‘protecting us from pain’ in the future. Meanwhile, we forget the client relationship we saved, the colleagues we’ve developed, and the problem we prevented. This is why it’s critical to regularly reflect on your achievements. A weekly ‘Confidence Catalogue’ is a growing record of accomplishments, positive feedback, problems solved, risks taken, lessons learned and evidence of impact.

If you require your employees to reflect regularly, they’ll begin recognising patterns in their strengths. Their confidence catalogue serves as fuel for coaching – you can ask them why they did it, the impact they made, what got in their way, and what might they do differently next time. Help them see what they cannot. When you see them take steps you’re proud of, describe what they did and its impact: “You simplified a complex issue, which helped the client say yes.” Specific feedback teaches your employees what to repeat. Advise them to review their catalogue before presentations, trying something new, or applying for a promotion. This evidence of their past impact and actions makes it easier to act with courage next time.

Make your own imperfections visible
If you only highlight wins and successes with your team, you send a message that capable people always get it right the first time. Instead, share moments when you missed the mark, took a risk that failed or wished you had a “do-over.”  Don’t turn every mistake into a story of triumph–choose honest examples about your missteps, share lessons learned, and then invite their feedback on what could be done differently next time for a better outcome. This will build their confidence, while showing that leaders they admire are human, imperfect, and can falter and recover.  Tim helped me take action before I felt 100% ready by challenging the assumption driving my decision. And yes, I passed on the lateral move and took the growth role! The key take away is that you can unleash your team’s potential when you help them see it.