When people ask me why influence matters, I often say: it is the cornerstone of your strategic skill set. Influence is not about manipulation or charm for its own sake. It is about earning trust, inspiring collaboration, and creating outcomes that are better for everyone involved. When used thoughtfully, influence is a future multiplier that it helps you get more done, with greater ease, and with stronger long-term results.

Over the years, I’ve seen influence misunderstood as “soft.” In reality, it is anything but. Research from Harvard, Princeton, and UCL shows that projects where leaders deploy influence effectively are completed more often, negotiations lead to better long-term satisfaction, and profitability improves. Influence is about leadership without authority: the ability to rally people, colleagues, clients, or even family members, toward a shared vision. In our consultancy we use a business development model that applies across contexts. It works whether you are pitching for new clients, persuading internal stakeholders, or navigating relationships in your personal life. The good news is that influence can be learned and practiced and rests on six key factors:

– Likeability
– Authority
– Social proof
– Reciprocity
– Scarcity
– Consistency plus commitment

The first and most human factor is likeability. People are more willing to listen to, trust, and support those they like. That doesn’t mean being false or overly charming. It means showing warmth, asking questions, listening, and making people feel valued. I love the small talk that builds relationships because those moments create connection. Warren Buffett once bought a business not after lengthy negotiations, but after a cup of tea and a conversation about values. The founder said she sold it to him simply because she liked him. That’s the power of likability; it opens doors that data alone cannot. Likeability gets you into the room, but authority keeps people listening. Authority is not about force; it is about presence. How you look, how you sound, and how you demonstrate your expertise all shape whether people take you seriously.

Simple techniques help. Lowering your voice to project calm confidence, pausing to let words land, and “keeping it short and simple” to avoid overloading others. Authority is also about balance, being serious about the topic but warm in the relationship. When people sense both competence and care, your authority grows. We live in a world where recommendations, testimonials, and referrals carry immense weight. Social proof means other people validate your credibility. Every Uber rating, every LinkedIn recommendation, every referral from a client signals to others that you are trustworthy.

Too often, professionals shy away from showcasing their expertise. But neglecting to highlight your track record leaves a gap for others to fill. Deliver consistently, and people will recommend you without hesitation. Ask yourself: what do I want others to say about me when I’m not in the room? Reciprocity is one of the most powerful human instincts. When someone helps us, we naturally want to return the favour. In business and life, giving without expectation creates goodwill and strengthens bonds. I often tell clients that if you connect with me on LinkedIn and ask for help, I’ll do my best to assist you. Not because I expect anything back, but because generosity creates possibility. And yes, sometimes, that generosity will circle back when I need support too. Reciprocity builds social capital, the currency of trust and mutual respect.

Scarcity reminds us that influence is not about being endlessly available. Your time, energy, and expertise are valuable precisely because they are finite. If you always say yes, you risk diluting your impact. Being selective – saying “no, not this time, but please ask me again”, signals that when you do show up, it matters. Treat yourself as a scarce resource, and others will too. Scarcity is not exclusion for its own sake; it is about creating clarity and protecting your ability to deliver at your best. Finally, influence depends on consistency. Your brand is what you promise; your reputation is what you deliver. Following through on commitments, reminding teams of agreements, and being reliable, even under pressure, cements credibility. People want to know they can depend on you. Consistency reinforces trust, and trust is the foundation of all influence. Influence is not manipulation. It is the art of inspiring, not controlling. It is about creating leadership without formal authority and about building networks of trust that sustain you over the long term.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has tracked participants for nearly a century, concludes that happiness and health are not driven by wealth or fame, but by the quality of our relationships. Influence is the skill that strengthens those relationships at work, at home, and in our communities. So ask yourself: who do you want to influence, and why? Which of the six factors are you already strong in, and which could you develop further? When you practice influence with authenticity and intention, you create not just better outcomes, but a more connected, meaningful, and resilient future.