Why women are still asked to ‘lead like men’ – what it’s costing organisations – and what we can do about it

As a female leader in business, I have spent much of my career shaping my own path of leadership, often against the tide in male-dominated environments. Early in my career as a chartered accountant, I was fortunate to work with brilliant men and women. The talent was undeniable. Yet there was an unspoken message that became clearer the further I progressed. If you wanted to succeed at senior levels, you had to push through others, prioritise your own advancement, and stay relentlessly focused on your personal trajectory, sometimes at the expense of your peers.

Leadership values
Leadership, it seemed, was about toughness, visibility and self-promotion. Collaboration was appreciated but rarely rewarded. Empathy was valued until it slowed decisions down. And confidence was applauded, as long as it looked and sounded familiar. The metrics reinforced this behaviour. Performance was measured through individual targets and personal visibility, with little recognition for collaboration or shared success. Unsurprisingly, it was often men who progressed first. Decades later, much has changed. Yet in other ways, we appear to be moving backwards.

Diversity reductions
Inclusion and diversity programmes are quietly being scaled back. Economic pressure and shifting political narratives are reshaping priorities. And in many organisations, progress is increasingly framed as a “nice to have” rather than a strategic imperative. What is the commercial cost? So why are women still being asked, implicitly and explicitly, to “lead like men”? And what is the commercial cost of continuing down this path?

Male and Female Leadership
First, we need to question the assumption itself. What does it actually mean to “lead like a man” or to “lead like a woman”? In practice, effective leadership is far less about gender and far more about the individual. It is shaped by personality, values, experience and leadership style. Both men and women are capable of bringing decisiveness, authority and commercial focus when required. Over the past two years, researching for my book HUMAN-WISE: How to lead from within and sell with confidence, a clear pattern began to emerge. The skills traditionally associated with “female” leadership are, in fact, the very qualities organisations most need today.
This is becoming even more apparent as we move further into the age of AI. As routine tasks and processes are increasingly automated, and even higher-level analysis is supported by technology, the real differentiator is no longer access to information. It is the ability to think critically, ask better questions, exercise judgement and build meaningful human connection.

Connection and growth
Empathy, curiosity, collaboration and the ability to build genuine connection are no longer optional. They sit at the heart of trust, influence and sustainable commercial relationships and growth. And yet these skills remain undervalued when it comes to promotion and reward.
In my work with leadership teams, I see this repeatedly. Performance and potential are still judged through a relatively narrow set of behaviours. Being visible, vocal and confident in asserting your views is rewarded quickly and consistently.

For many women, this creates a difficult balancing act. Lead with empathy and collaboration and you risk being seen as lacking commercial edge. Step into more direct, decisive territory and the language can shift just as quickly. “Too assertive.” “Too challenging.” “Not quite the right fit.”
The behaviours are rarely the issue. It is the interpretation that holds people back.
At the heart of this sits a powerful assumption: that performance and growth are best driven through a traditionally “male” mindset focused on individual ambition, competition and personal gain.

Be more HUMAN
We need to build a more HUMAN working world However, in today’s complex and rapidly changing world, a different type of leadership and new set of metrics are required. One that draws on the very HUMAN skills more traditionally associated with women. This is not about being “soft” or lacking edge. It is about authentic authority. Leading with confidence, care and collaboration at the heart of how decisions are made and results are delivered.

Multiple studies show a positive and significant relationship between board gender diversity and firm performance. Research on FTSE 100 firms finds that this relationship becomes especially pronounced when three or more women serve on a board (International Journal of Finance and Economics, 2021). McKinsey’s 2023 research shows that companies in the top quartile for gender diversity are around 27% more likely to outperform their peers financially.

If women continue to be encouraged to “lead like men,” driven by outdated expectations and individual-centric metrics, organisations risk losing the very skills that contribute to stronger business outcomes. With the rapid adoption of AI, there is growing recognition that the true differentiator in business will be the HUMAN skills that technology cannot replicate. Critical thinking, judgement, collaboration and the ability to build trusted relationships are becoming more valuable, not less.

What next ?
So, what does this mean in practice?
It means leaders, whether male or female, must lead from within and show up with confidence. They must be clear about who they are and what they stand for. They must blend commercial focus with a coaching mindset that develops people and strengthens relationships and ultimately grows the top and bottom-line of business. This is the essence of The Human Advantage® in practice. Through my work, I have distilled these capabilities into five practical steps, in an easy to remember way – all about being HUMAN
H – HOW YOU SHOW UP. Lead with self-awareness, confidence and presence.
U – UNDERSTANDING OTHERS. Listen deeply, get curious, and build genuine connection.
M – MINDSET MATTERS. Blend commercial ambition with a coaching approach to developing others and commercial relationships.
A – ACT & ADAPT. Navigate uncertainty and challenge constructively, without damaging trust.
N- NEXT STEPS. Turn conversations into progress, focusing on commercial outcomes and value creation.

Women no longer need to “lead like men.” They need to lead from within, with confidence in who they are and the value they bring. Instead let’s turn the tables and ask, how can men lead more like women and bring the HUMAN elements of leadership to life? One conversation at a time.